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Time after time again I just feel as though I'm being murdered.

Depression sinks in, oh not again. The heartache begins, a gut wrenching indescribable pain.

I feel as though Death himself is toying with my heart, wrapping his slender skeletal fingers around it, squeezing it just ever so slightly. Not enough to kill me, but just enough to make me want to die.

My stomach turns and it makes me want to puke, do I? No, even if I wanted to I probably wouldn't be able to. It feels as though some sick maniac has just gotten off from having some fun playing with my guts.

I cry but I don't want to. With each sob I just feel like this pain is going to rip my chest apart.

I am breathing and yet I feel like I am suffocating.

I think about the old days, the times I used to cut myself, I think of how much I just want to give in but I won't, I'm strong enough to remember and stick to the reasons why I quit.

I lay on my bed and I hope for this pain to end but I know, tomorrow will be the same, the depression, the pain. Sure sometimes I think I find the one to make all of this go away, make it all seem like it was just a nightmare...But, the same old crap happens, everything turns to shit and then what do yea know, I'm back to fucked up depressed me, laying on my bed crying, wishing that I could just lay there forever, and rot.

I'm sick of all this bullshit, I'm sick of all this pain,

I just don’t want to hurt anymore.